​Feeling down today?  You have one of the most powerful weapons against that bad mood:  Your smile. Why is your smile so powerful? It can change your brain and your life.

​Smiling stimulates your brain’s reward system. An expert in behavioral psychology, Sarah Stevenson, tells us that the "feel good" neurotransmitters (dopamine, endorphins and serotonin) are all released when a smile flashes across our face. 

It seems smiling gives us the same happiness that exercising, eating chocolate, and falling in love do, at least in terms of how our brains respond. Apparently, our brains feel good when we smile, and it produces those "feel good transmitters" that help us cope with daily stress. One of those transmitters, Serotonin, is known to be a main key in our feelings of happiness and well-being. 

Even more impressive is the fact that we can paste a fake smile on our face and receive the same results. Facial coding expert, Paul Ekman, showed in his research that adopting a full smile, one that reaches clear to our eyes, produces a change in our brain activity that leaves us in a happier mood. 

Isn't that amazing? We can get the same health benefit of smiling, without feeling any real emotion. 

Who would have thought that faking a smile would actually make us feel better? I don't know about you, but I'm going to break out that full grin. As Yoko Ono once stated, “Smile in the mirror.  Do that every morning and you’ll start to see a big difference in your life.”

​"The one thing that stands between a child becoming a statistic or a success story is one caring adult," says Josh Shipp, someone who could have been that statistic.  

He didn't know it at the time, but that one caring adult was sitting right in front of him...a tough, yet caring man named Rodney.

Everyone deserves a Rodney in their life. 

Maybe all you have to do is look in front of you.

​It's a beautiful thing to see hands reaching out across the darkness in support of our hurting friends.  I am honored and privileged to have a small role in this process, and it touches me deeply. That's why I'm excited to share the next idea with you. It's a great way to encourage and support your hurting friend.  It's like handing him or her a little life jacket in a box, something to keep them afloat when the strong emotions of depression threaten to overwhelm or when the urges to self-harm flare intensely.  It's called a comfort box, and it is filled with items your friend will be able to turn to when they need a distraction from their stressors.


HOW DO I MAKE A COMFORT BOX?

1. Start with any box or container.
2. If needed, decorate the outside....your friend's favorite comic strip, some pretty paper - your own special type of bling.
3. Now comes the fun part. Fill it. Fill it with things that will make your friend happy. Find things that will make your friend smile. Find things that will involve their senses and create a distraction. Here are some ideas to get your creative juices flowing:

     
Things to keep their hands busy: 
Stress balls, origami materials, puzzles, play dough, toys, coloring books and colored pencils...

Things to create sensory distractions:
Body sprays, essential oils, candy, gum, hand lotion (for rubbing on their arms instead of cutting), thick rubber band (for snapping against their wrist instead of hurting themselves), peel-able fingernail polish, mp3 player with encouraging music...)

Things to remind them the bad times won't last:
Inspirational books, meaningful photographs, cards, quotes, notes of encouragement, writing journal and pen...

Things just for fun:
Travel board games, DVDs, bubbles....get creative.  What would your friend love? What speaks fun?  What speaks life?

4. Once you've filled the box with all sorts of wonderful things, simply write a little note of love and include an explanation of the purpose of your box. It is now ready to be delivered in love and friendship. It is now ready to be used and loved. What a powerful thing.

My school is selling flowers for Valentine's Day.

Excuse me while I go breathe into a bag.

Seriously, this issue brings bad memories for me.  I remember sitting in class, wondering if I'd receive a flower, and agonizing over the thought that I wouldn't.

What if I'm the only one who doesn't receive one?
How embarrassing.
Everyone will know I'm not loved.

It was a stressful situation, and not just for me.  I remember girls purchasing flowers for themselves, hoping to show others that they were lovable. I sigh when I remember those young girls, and think to myself, "If only."

If only I could go back in time and send a message to my younger self, as well as the other teens who were agonizing beside me. I'd write a note on beautiful stationary, delivering it on the same day the flowers were being delivered.  It would say something like this:

Dear friend,

You don't need a flower to prove you are lovable.  You are.  You already are. You have a beautiful future ahead of you, one filled with people who will absolutely adore you. There'll be love and laughter...hugs and flowers...and a heart that is full and happy.  Don't listen to those negative thoughts swirling in your mind right now.  Great things are right around the corner for you.  So, enjoy your day, enjoy your friends, and keep chasing those dreams.  Your story is just beginning, my friend.  Just beginning.

Happy Valentine's Day.

No matter what we do or how nice we are, we always attract haters. Always. 

Hating is a part of life.  As Aristotle, the great philosopher, once said: 
       There is one way to avoid criticism: Do nothing. Say nothing. Be nothing.

Even though it's hard to have someone criticize or dislike us, there are things we can do to manage our reaction and rise above our feelings.