What I do know is this: I look at my daughter, and her body is scarred with tattoos that mark all of the difficult times in her life. Want to know every bad thing she's been through? Just look at the scrapbook she's created on her skin. It's there as a permanent reminder of every hard thing she's been through.
It makes me sad when I'm reminded of those times, and I bet it makes her sad, too. I know at the time she had those tattoos created, it gave her some peace to see a visible "scar" that showed why she was feeling so much pain. If anyone asked her why she was feeling depressed, she could just show them her arms. See? This is what I've been through.
What she doesn't understand is that it's unhealthy to be reminded of those things on a daily basis. People are more than the mistakes they've made. If I had my way, I'd erase all of her tattoos and write new ones on her arms, positive ones that reminded her of the good things in her life.
I'd start with "Love." For every person that's betrayed her and let her down, I know there's at least ten other people who love her unconditionally. I'd hope she'd see that word every day and think about those people who love her, who are kind to her, and who do things for her without expecting things in return.
I'd also want her to think about the ways she gives back to the world, so I'd add the word, "Give." A recent Harvard study showed that giving to others made people happier. Being reminded of the ways she gives to others, would make my daughter feel happy and would encourage her to keep finding new ways to give, causing long-lasting health benefits.
Laughter is another health benefit, so I'd end with the word, "Laugh." When depressing thoughts start to cloud her mind, I'd hope she'd look at that word and remember all of the fun times she's had with her family and friends, times where she's laughed and felt at peace. I'd hope that the word would remind her that most of her life has been filled with laughter and assure her that the remainder of her life will be filled with it as well.
I wish my daughter wouldn't remind herself of the difficult times in her life when there's good things she could be thinking about instead. If she needs to scar her arms and tattoo them with words, I hope she chooses positive ones. I hope she tattoos her arms with love.