​Have you ever walked behind someone at the grocery store or sat behind someone’s car and wondered why they aren’t walking or driving?  They seem far away or not all there.  This has been me the last 34 days. 

That’s how long it’s been since anyone has seen my teenage son. 

He chose to disappear with no goodbye, no letter, no phone call. We’re not sure why.  Just phone suspended, bathroom cleaned out and vehicle gone. He chose to leave his business and over 200 clients behind. He left behind parents and siblings who love him. Police can’t help as he is an adult and chose to leave—no foul play found. 

The hardest thing is to not know if he is safe. 

My other question is why? Why would he leave people who love him and would help him if he needed anything?  What pulled him away?
 
While at work, our family puts on a brave face…a smile at times, trying hard to get our job done. Closing the door to our office when the tears overwhelm us, just to open the door with a smile on our face when the next task has to get done. We have to keep moving forward step by step, day by day. 

But sometimes it’s too hard to move. Sometimes the smile can’t hide our sadness. 

​This is a shout out to other parents or siblings out there missing their son/daughter or brother/sister. We are sorry for your hurt. We are sorry that sometimes the sadness overwhelms you. We hope your special someone comes home safely and your family can heal. 
 
Please reach out for help if you need it. You don't have to go through this hurt alone. 
Thinking and praying for you.

Please, please, please don't numb your pain with drugs.

You'll find better ways to cope with your pain. In a few years, even the worst of the pain will subside. You'll smile again. You'll laugh again. Things will be good.

I know you can't understand this right now.  You're hurting, and all you can think about is getting relief from the desperate, hopeless feeling that's hounding you. In the middle of the hurt, it's impossible for you to see things as they really are. Listen to me. You are stronger than you think you are. You are going to get through this.  

Please don't numb your pain with drugs.
​
Drugs will never erase those negative thoughts.  They'll just hide them for awhile.  That's why when the drugs wear off, you'll want to keep taking them.  You won't mean to become an addict.  It'll just happen.  You'll end up facing a battle with an opponent that's tougher than any pain you've experienced.

You'll find yourself in a desperate place.  Homeless.  Facing jail time.  Disappointing the people you love.  Disappointing yourself.

Eventually, friends in rehab will help you battle your way back to a normal life. You'll smile. You'll laugh.  You'll think you've won. Friends and family will celebrate with you.  They'll love having their boy back....the one with a smile as big as his heart.  

In the midst of their celebrating, they'll fail to notice the drugs lurking in the shadows. Drugs don't like to lose, but none of them will know this.  None of them will be prepared. Not even you.

You won't mean to die.  It'll just happen.  You'll reach out one last time, and tangle with an opponent that's tougher than your pain. In that terrible moment, the drugs will take away your breath and all of the wonderful things you had to share with the world. Your family and friends will be left hurting.

They'll cry and wish you had never turned to drugs to ease your pain.

Please, please, please....if you are hurting, don't numb your pain with drugs!  
You are stronger than you think you are. You are going to get through this.  ​

I love it when people get real about their struggles.  Last week, Kristen Bell (an American actress) talked about her issue with depression.  

It gave me a complete and utter sense of isolation and loneliness. Its debilitation was all-consuming, and it shut down my mental circuit board. I felt worthless, like I had nothing to offer, like I was a failure. Now, after seeking help, I can see that  those thoughts, of course, couldn’t have been more wrong.

What's nice about Kristen being open about her depression is how it gets people talking.  By "talking" I don't mean the gossipy kind of talking, but the kind of talking that leads to better understanding. And if there is any group of people that needs better understanding, it's the group of people who feel they have nothing to offer.

If you or a friend are struggling with depression or feelings of hopelessness, let someone know.  Depression is a problem that has many solutions, and as Kristen Bell said in her article:

There’s nothing weak about struggling with mental illness. You’re just having a harder time living in your brain than other people. And I don’t want you to feel alone. You know what happens when I visit my doctor regarding my mental health? He listens. He doesn’t downplay my feelings or immediately hand me a pill or tell me what to do. He talks to me about my options. Because when it comes to your brain, there are a lot of different ways to help yourself.