​Dear family members and friends,
 
We know we don’t say it often enough, but thank you.  Thank you so much for being here for us.  For being our strength when we want to give up.  For listening and believing in us.
 
It can’t be easy always worrying about us, watching us hurting and not knowing how to help.  But we are so grateful we have you sitting up with us at night, putting arms around us when we’re sad, asking about our day and encouraging us in your special way. 
 
Even if we don’t express it, you are our hope….the light in our darkness. You keep us hanging on.  What a gift you are. There are no words to express how grateful we feel.  And we don’t say it nearly enough, because the pain keeps the words from coming out of our mouths.
 
So thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you. Thank you.
 
Thank you for seeing our worth hidden beneath our pain.  Thank you for not walking away when things get hard.  Thank you for staying and loving us in our hardest moments. 

Thank you for loving us, always loving us.
 
We love you so much,

Your Depressed Teen

I was having such a good time with an amazing group of fun and intelligent people until they said:

“I can’t believe people who want to commit suicide would do it in such a public way by jumping in front of a train.  What a messy way to die and think of all the people behind that have to clean it up.  What are they thinking?”
 
You see, I might have just as easily laughed this off, except my son attempted suicide 3 times. 

My family and I were there to pick up the pieces of his life and try to move on.  I was thankful that I wasn’t one of the statistics where he did jump in front of a train and was instantly gone. (28 young people a week die of suicide, 4 per day) I was lucky.  My son Lived!!  Although sitting in a psych ward multiple times until we got his life back together was very messy. 

Living, waiting for the other shoe to drop is frightening. 

Trying to find prescribing doctors, therapists and affordable medication and insurance is a struggle.  This illness is a life long battle that we are forced to face with no hope for a cure.  Most Cancers have a 90% cure rate.  My son has an 18% chance of dying from this illness.  Yes, I’m lucky, but it’s not an easy road being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. 

People think my son has a choice to live. 

When you are in the throws of a deep depression the person can only think of the pain.  It is an intense pain, unlike any most of us will ever know.  It is easier to rip out your toenails—which my son did, than live with the debilitating pain that this illness causes. 
 
So what can I and do I do in situations like these?

​I try to share a different perspective.  One that uses my experience with mental illness to educate and share that people that make these choices, at the time they do—don’t feel like there is another option.   The pain becomes too intense, too much to bear and all they are thinking is that now they can be free—no pain, no hurt, no worries and I won’t be a burden to my family anymore.
 
I want to say--
​
“Don’t Leave Forever!  Hang in there.  You are so much more than your illness.  There is HOPE and you are a valuable human being.  Get Hope, get Help, tomorrow can be a better day and You are worth it!”