The other day, my daughter pulled me aside and whispered out of embarrassment that her armpits smelled like onions. She pressed her small hands on each cheek and pulled them down as if she was trying to release her embarrassment through her exposed eyeballs. Then she released her inner reality: Mom, why do I smell like you? Am I a woman now? What is wrong with me? Is this it for me? Will I always smell like this? Do other people smell like this? Will people make fun of me? Will people still like me?

Immediately, I laughed out loud. Then realized my response was inappropriate. My child was no longer the little nugget running around without a care in the world, unaware of who saw her and what they thought. This realization was a sad moment for me.

I know what you’re thinking, body odor? Really? This may seem like a sliver of a problem, right? Who cares? That’s not the case for my preteen and probably for yours too. Our preteens are growing into young adolescents and these worries may seem small to us, but they are larger than life to them. Unfortunately, appearance and approval matter a great deal in today’s society. I hate that my beautiful, smart, funny, talented, daughter is worried about what people think of her. I wish I could protect her from all the icky parts of the world that I still hope she will never see but I can’t.

I imagine that most of you moms feel this way. So a few words of advice to the moms who are reading. Be present for your child and teen. Let them share their silly slivers of a problem. Let them spill their worries and concerns. Take their concerns seriously. This stage of life is hard. Change is hard. Growing up is hard.

A few other words of advice to the teens who are reading.  Find your person. Find that person you can trust to talk to about anything. Whether your “person” is your mom, guardian, caretaker, brother, sister, whomever. Know that your “person” loves you. Your person looks at you with rose colored glasses and sees all the best parts of you. Don’t ever stop talking to your person about your worries. It doesn’t matter how big or small they may seem. Because these worries will start to feel a little bit smaller if they aren’t hidden and tucked away. 

By Emily Krueger

     My friend recently said to me: “Every year, I say ‘next year will be a better year’ and I really believe it when I say it. But I can’t seem to voice the words this year. After all the tragic and awful things, I fear that this year will just roll into the next. It doesn’t feel over yet.”

     I couldn’t agree with her more. It doesn’t feel over yet. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but my friend is right. It isn’t over yet. As we enter a new year, the awfulness of 2020 can’t be stomped on or thrown away. For many of us, 2020 left scars that we’ll have to live with everyday. Truth be told, we will once again find ourselves standing on the frontlines of a new war, but who wins the battle depends on us.

     So here’s my proposal, instead of DEPENDING on what the new year will bring to us, how about we DEPEND on ourselves and what we bring to the new year. What kind of “weapons” can we bring with us as we enter 2021 in preparation of a new war?

    If you’ve been knocked down this year and got back up again, you’re carrying the weapon of resilience. How about self care? If you’re actively taking care of yourself, you’re claiming the weapon of value. Every single person has value. Take hold of that weapon. How about spiritual? Do you meditate? Have faith in a higher power? Then you’re carrying a weapon that no problem can fight against. Look out 2021!

     Who is standing alongside you in these battles? This is your backup team. Talk to them, let them in. Claim your weapons. Make amends with your weapons as you enter the new year. Prepare to fight. Stand tall. Don’t give up. No battle is too great for you and your weapons. You've got this.