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Blog

When Someone Hates You

2/3/2016

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No matter what we do or how nice we are, we always attract haters. Always. 

Hating is a part of life.  As Aristotle, the great philosopher, once said: 
       There is one way to avoid criticism: Do nothing. Say nothing. Be nothing.

Even though it's hard to have someone criticize or dislike us, there are things we can do to manage our reaction and rise above our feelings.
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December 21, 2015

12/21/2015

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​Dear friend in Florida,

Maybe you're afraid to tell someone because you don't want to be judged.

Maybe you think others will believe you deserve it, since it's being done by a family member.

Maybe you're so tired from the stress, you just want to tuck yourself under a blanket and forget about the pain and hateful words...
the fighting... 
the explaining...
the defending.

My encouragement to you is this:

You deserve love. Not for any other reason, other than you’re human and your life is priceless. 

Please know there is never a good reason for someone to bully you, not even for family members.  

Bullying done in the name of love is still bullying. Don't make excuses for them. Their nit-picking, put downs, constant criticism, lack of affection, complaining to others about you, silent treatment and hitting are all forms of abuse.  

It's abuse you don't have to take.

It's okay to seek refuge for yourself, especially when you are being physically harmed. Remove yourself from the situation when you see things escalating.  Go lock yourself in the bathroom or walk out the door and leave.  

Did you hear me, friend? Leave if you are in an unsafe situation.  Get someone to help you if you are afraid to do it alone.
You can do this.

You are strong,
You are brave,
You can do hard things.

You are valued.

I'm so sorry you are going through this.  Please know you are not alone.
We're here if you need us.
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Breaking the Stereotype

1/2/2015

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It's easy to put people into boxes, especially when we don't know their whole story.

Take this girl I know.  She cut school, hung out with a wild crowd, and ended up having a baby right out of high school.  Everyone labeled her as a wild child with no future.

Then one night I heard her story. 


She told me what life was like for her as a young girl; how, when she was still in elementary school, her father started abusing her.  She talked about how scared she was in her room at night, so she would sneak out of the house and hang out with the only kids that were up that time of the evening. She mentioned how happy she had been when she met a kind, young man who wanted to marry her.  She hadn't thought anyone would want her after what she'd been through, and she was so excited to be able to move out of her house and away from her father.  She believed they would make a life together, but it hadn't worked out the way she had wished. At the end of her story she smiled and told me about her daughter, the college classes she's taking, and her dreams for the future.

With one story, she went from a "wild child" to an "incredible 'survivor." 

Stories are game changers.  They break down the walls that separate us and let us see each other for who we really are. They get rid of the stereotypes.

We should all be brave enough to open up and tell our stories.  Even more importantly, we should seek each other's stories.
​
People are never as black and white as they seem.
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