Depression is much more than that. It goes way deeper— to drowning in your own tears— to waking up in the morning— to wanting to go back to bed and never wake back up again. It is always more than you think.
#depression, #sadness, #deeper
People think depression is sadness. People think that depression is dressing in black. People think that it is all in your head. But I am here to say to all of these people that they are wrong.
Depression is much more than that. It goes way deeper— to drowning in your own tears— to waking up in the morning— to wanting to go back to bed and never wake back up again. It is always more than you think. #depression, #sadness, #deeper
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A good friend told me that female elephants circle around other elephants when they need support. The elephants will gather around their friend and then turn their bodies so their tusks face outward. Creating a circle, they will make an impenetrable wall that provides support and protection for their vulnerable friend.
All of us need a circle of friends who gather around us when we're vulnerable. Will you be that person for someone else? Will you create a circle around your friend and help them be brave when their world becomes a threatening place? Will you be brave and advocate for your friend? On the flip side, when you're feeling vulnerable, will you speak of your distress so your friends can create a circle around you? Will you let them fight for you and encourage you? It's time we redefined what bravery looks like. Being brave should not be an individual endeavor. Being brave should come from being in a community. It should come from people stopping to link their arms in ours and help us to the finish line. It should come from friends surrounding us when we're hurting. Instead of surviving life alone, let's start circling around one another. It's easier to navigate life when we have people around to help us. Let's be brave together. We find ourselves together,
Each one bearing the scars from our battles. Wounded warriors —Who refuse to give up. —Who face our fears bravely and lend our strength when someone needs it. We turn with open arms to those who are hurting and say, "You are welcome here." For we know the beauty in a person is found deep beneath their surface. We listen when you vent laugh when you joke comfort when you cry and walk a mile in your shoes every day if it means it will help you We've learned the pain of carrying secrets in our wounds is no match for the hope we can find in the acceptance from another So we reach out to one another-- in coffee shops and hallways, neighborhoods and blog posts, bravely baring our souls and telling our stories For we are warriors Comforters Menders Friends Who know the bravest thing we can do is open our weaknesses to the scrutiny of another so all can find healing. We come without judgement. We come with our scars. We come as we are. "You are welcome here." This lovely girl is my daughter. Hidden beneath her smile is a real joy for life, but it wasn't always this way. It's hard to be excited about life when you're being bullied, and this girl was bullied throughout middle school and high school. In those days, her smile hid a pain that was too deep for words, and it made her attempt suicide on more than one occasion.
Luckily, she survived... Every. Single. Try. Man, how thankful I am she lived—not just because she's my daughter and I love her—but because she's the bravest girl I know, and I admire her so much! What spirit she has! What strength! What beauty she showed as she rose above the crisis! Those days were difficult, I won't lie. But in the middle of the battle, my girl found her brave—and she's enjoying a happy life because of it. She's getting her degree. She's working a job she loves. She's hugging her daughter. She's happy. Really happy. Find your brave. Speak to someone. March past the people who are bullying you and refuse to listen. Find a way to get through the day...each and every day. You won't regret it. It'll be worth the struggle. Find your brave, and give yourself a chance to see your future. Do you ever feel like pain is your enemy? You wake up in the morning and try your best, but somehow pain always finds a way to slice through your happiness. And you wonder...will you ever be able to escape it?
If you feel this way, I'm sorry for the hurt you are experiencing. I understand where you're coming from; I really do. I've experienced both physical and mental pain that have left me begging for mercy. I'd love to take all of that pain away from you, but I know, deep down, it would be one of the worst things I could do. You may be surprised by that statement, but it's true. You see, pain is not our enemy. It is simply a warning to us that something is amiss— something's not right. Without pain, we wouldn't know anything was wrong; and that, my friend, could be detrimental. After all, some of the most dangerous types of diseases are those where we feel no pain until it's too late for healing. I'm not saying pain is good, but what I am saying is that pain often triggers us to search for the help we need. It causes us to find new solutions... make supportive connections...repair important relationships. It causes us to fight with the determination of a warrior, knowing healing is right around the corner. Pain doesn't have to be a stumbling block. It can be a stepping stone—a way out of your faltering strength and into a transformative wholeness. Don't stop fighting. Reach out. Connect. Search for healing. It won't be long until you find it. There are times when you think you are going to be riding into the sunset and your illness is in your rear view mirror. Then your illness hits you.
There are moments in life I have felt invincible from my illness. These past couple years I have been promoted multiple times, I have moved multiple times. I had my up and downs but not extreme. That is a lot of stress I got through. I was thinking, "I am a rock star. Maybe I have out grown my illness. Maybe my tools I have built are working and I'm over it." Then when I thought I have found a future stepping stone that would be great for my future I took it. I switched jobs, I moved towards more family, my schedule is great,I have been on vacations, my life style was supposed to sky rocket. I had the worst episode I have had in years. I could not find enjoyment when it was right in front of me. I was thinking what is wrong with me? I can see that I am suppose to be happy. I know this is what I wanted. Why Can't I be?? This episode I was in lasted for months and during it I could not figure out how to get out of it. I felt like all my tools I have built up were useless. All I kept thinking was fight harder, fight harder. Life can be happy and sad on the outside but my illness is on the inside. Even when you think you are invincible then you are reminded even the strongest need help sometimes. It is ok to ask for it. God knows I needed it. I had to redo a lot of my meds, try everything I had to figure out sleep, figure out how to live outside of my battles in my mind. It felt impossible at times and I have been dealing with this for close to 20 years. I cry sometimes knowing I have to deal with this my entire life. Now I am on the back end of my episode and thank God everyday for that. It is so hard when you are doing great to remind yourself of these times when you just can't. I know I can get better with every episode and try my hardest fighting the good fight because I am strong enough to fight through. Even though I might need help and am reminded of that every time. At age 30, JK Rowling wanted to commit suicide because she didn't see a way out of her desperate situation. Struggling with depression, she felt hopeless and alone. A few years later, she penned these words in a "little book" that millions went on to read: "Happiness can be found even in the darkest times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." How thankful we are that JK Rowling found a way to turn on the light. If you're struggling today, feeling helpless and alone, don't give up. There is a light in your future, ready to be lit. Let us help you light it.
Once upon a time, a long time ago, my family's life was perfect. Well, maybe not perfect, but close enough. We were happy, and then something happened that changed our course forever: my husband got cancer. WHAM! A marker, or signpost, was placed into our lives. Suddenly we had our life before dad had cancer, and we had our life after dad had cancer. They were very different lives.
Tomorrow I'm attending a funeral and giving hugs to another family who's had a marker slammed into their lives, one they will refer to often. Unfortunately, life has a way of doing that to the best of families, maybe even yours. Those unexpected turns in the road can be painful and difficult, so difficult they can prompt us to search for comfort in things we shouldn't... alcohol, drugs, gambling, porn, relationships, overeating, cutting, vomiting... We all want to find comfort during life's difficult moments, and it's easy to find temporary comfort in things that can add additional difficulties. My family has experienced some of these temporary comforts firsthand, and they were never satisfying. They kept us needing to overcome more and more issues. Then we found something that brought us true comfort. In this world of political correctness, it's not popular to talk about faith, but that's exactly what we found that helped us. Faith. Nothing seemed to comfort us as good as God. I guess that's why he's called "the Father of mercies and God of all comfort." If you're needing a "God of all comfort" because you've been disappointed in the things you have tried, he'll be there for you. His kindness and grace may be just the thing you need to continue on. It was for us. Recently, I had some friends let me down. They didn't call, return my voicemails, or answer their Facebook messages.
So of course I thought they didn't want to talk to me. It made me upset. I wondered why I even made an effort, since they obviously didn't want to spend time talking with me. I had a major pity party! Then a few weeks later...surprise! I heard from them and found out they each had a good reason for not contacting me. That's when I learned that no matter what the circumstances: I should never, and I mean never, make assumptions! If I try to guess what people are thinking, especially when I'm feeling down, I almost always get it wrong. It is impossible to know the reason why people do what they do until you ask them. So the next time someone lets me down, I'm going to do something that's hard, but totally worth it. I'm going to: Give them the benefit of the doubt. I'll tell myself they probably have a good reason for doing what they did and I'll choose to believe the best about them. Then I'll do whatever I can to avoid having negative emotions force me into a pity party. Waste of time to have a pity party for nothing. Total waste. |
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