It's important for people to understand that depression is an illness, not a weakness. Many people believe depression is just something someone can "get over" on their own. This belief causes them to be less empathetic towards those who are diagnosed with depression, as shown in this article by Kirsten King and Haejin Park from BuzzFeed. (Posted on September 30, 2015) Remember, everyone experiences mental illness differently, and the way we talk about it can have a significant effect on someone’s well-being. Be kind and empathetic, regardless of a person’s diagnosis.
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Depression has no boundaries. There is not one “type” of person who can be affected by depression. Those who have depression do not all look alike. They may be female, male, children, teenagers, adults, elderly, black, white, Asian, straight, gay, lesbian, or transgender. Depression affects every corner of diversity. Though those who are affected by depression are different, and come from different backgrounds, beliefs, and values, they are not alone in this battle. The struggles that go along with depression are hard and vary in degrees for every individual. But the overall battle to find hope and something positive in their lives is the same. And more importantly you are not alone if you struggle with depression. It doesn’t matter what race, gender, or sexual orientation you are. You are loved. You are valued. Your life has worth. If you are struggling with depression remember that there are thousands of others out there who are struggling with the same thing. Here are some resources that may be of encouragement to you: The Trevor Project- For LBTQ Youth- www.thetrevorproject.org National Organization for People of Color Against Suicide- www.nopcas.com To Write Love on Her Arms- www.twloha.com National Alliance on Mental Illness- www.nami.org Suicide is the third leading cause of death for teens, and it's time to slam the door on that statistic! The best way to keep teenagers from killing themselves is to ask:
Are you thinking of hurting or killing yourself? If they say "Yes," "Maybe," or "Sometimes," say: I'm sorry you're feeling so badly. How can I help? We'll get through this together. Let's keep you safe. Make a list of three or four phone numbers of people your teens trust, along with a Suicide Hotline number 1-800-SUICIDE and have them keep it in their wallet. That way they always know where to turn. If you think your teens are about ready to hurt themselves, don't leave them alone. Call 911 or take them to an emergency room. Reassure them of your love and remind them that they can work through whatever is going on — and you're wanting to help. I'm not a runner, but I wish I were. I see others sprint by with ease, and I wonder why it's so easy for them and so hard for me? I continue on, but my heart begins sinking. It's too hard. I'll never make it. Why even try? Sometimes there's days when my life feels the same, days where I struggle to make it. I get distracted when I should focus. I make mistakes I wish I could undo. I get overwhelmed by the obstacles life throws me. Tears flow easily as I notice my failures growing while others glide by. Life isn't turning out as I'd hoped. Then something wonderful happens. Someone falls in step alongside and passes their baton of hope. Their words of encouragement and advice lift my spirits, as well as my determination. I match their stride, step by step, courage slowly building. It feels good to be running together. Tears flow once more as I realize the value of their gift: If they can overcome their obstacles, so can I. I keep running, pushing through the hard parts; and as I do, it begins getting easier. I smile as I hear the footsteps next to mine. It feels secure having someone run alongside, and their words of hope and strength encourage me. Oh, how important it is to help each other. I think about others who may be struggling, and I begin looking. Is there someone out there who needs my baton? So the pain and pressure began to build, and you ran. You ran to the one pain you could control...cutting.
It helped provide a little relief from your terrible feelings. It helped to ease the stress for a little while. Now you feel like you can't stop and it's embarrassing, even scary. As if you needed any more problems to think about! People don't usually intend to keep cutting once they start, but it happens. The brain gets tricked into believing the false sense of relief, so the next time it feels pain, the brain craves this same deliverance. Cutting suddenly becomes an addiction that seems impossible to stop. And the worst thing is: the relief it provides doesn't last. The problems that triggered the cutting remain — you can't outrun them. Plus, when you self-injure, you are at risk for infections, scarring, and shock . You can die from an extreme injury or bad cuts that don't get treated right away. So how do you stop? The first thing you do is become aware of which situations trigger your urge to cut. Is it triggered after a disagreement with a friend or a family member? ...when a large project is due at school? ...after you've lost a game? ...when there's pressure at work? After you know your triggers, make a plan for what to do instead of cutting when you feel the urge. Put a rubber band around your wrist and snap it. Rub an ice cube on your skin in place of cutting Draw a mark on your skin with red pen in the place you usually cut. Squeeze a stress ball. Rip something up. Exercise Scribble on paper with red ink Drip red paint over paper Illustrate your pain Use poetry to express what you're feeling Listen to music that talks about how you feel Ask a friend for help You may not be able to control the things in life that cause you pain, but there is nothing wrong in asking for help. The right person can enable you to find your inner strength. So you can cope with your problems in a healthy way, and stop cutting, and begin to solve those problems instead of trying to outrun them. You know what I love best about a new school year? The word new. There is so much hope tucked inside of that word. New supplies. New ideas. New start. One small seed of "new" can harvest a whole lot of change, which is why I'm running into this new school year with confidence. As Ralph Marston said, What you do today can improve all of your tomorrows. Since I want this year to be a great one, I'm already putting some positive things in place to get myself ready. Organizing a Study Space I don't want to fall behind this year in my written work, so I'm organizing my study space. I've made sure it's away from distractions and I've stocked it with supplies. I've even picked up a couple of display boards so I can have them ready for projects. I think being organized this year will help prevent some of my stress when things get really busy. Finding What Resources Are Available I've also been doing research on my computer to see the resources my school has available. You can do this, too. Check to see if your teachers have websites where they post assignments and see if your school has a homework hotline. I've bookmarked my favorite resources, so I can remember them if I start to get overwhelmed. Thinking Positively Instead of walking into my school and remembering the stressful things that have happened, I want to walk in and see new possibilities. That's why I've already started preparing my thinking. Every time I feel myself start to stress, I think, "Things are going to be better than I expect." When my self-esteem starts to dredge up old fears, I remind myself, "God made me and loves me just the way I am. My value isn't based on the thoughts of others." Taking Time to Laugh One of the things I love about summer vacation is how often I laugh. It feels good to laugh, forgetting about everything else. I savor these times and hate to see them end. That's why I'm making sure I plan time in my schedule to have fun. I'm saving time on Monday nights to meet with friends. I'm planning some fun activities in the Fall. I'm making sure I continue to enjoy things, even after school begins. Sound the bell and start the race; I think I'm ready. No, I know I'm ready. I'm ready for a new year. New possibilities. New changes. New hope. I just ate a slice of watermelon, and what a disappointment it was! My watermelon had lost its flavor. I guess I should have expected it. It had been hidden in the back of the refrigerator for a couple of days.
That's how it works, right? Things unused lose their effectiveness. An unused car doesn't start. Unused muscles waste away. Unused leather gloves grow stiff. It's funny how many principals in our physical world teach us about the principals in our spiritual world. When we isolate ourselves in our bedrooms, the same thing happens to our lives: They lose their "flavor." Our lives are made for us to live. We have an innate need to connect with other people. The less we do this, the more lonely we become, and the worse our quality of life becomes. As my grandma used to tell me, "We reap what we sew." If we're putting ourselves in lonely, isolated places, we will feel more lonely and isolated. And according to scientists, this leads to all sorts of mental and physical problems. So how do we turn our lives around if we're stuck in a place of not wanting to engage with others? The first step is to get small doses of positive interactions, like little doses of medicine for our souls. We can say to someone, "Isn't it a great day?" (Yes, even if we don't feel like it) or "Hey, I like your shirt." Their positive answers will make us feel better. We should do this every day. Slowly, over time, those minutes will add up and we'll begin to feel more like venturing out. Our lives won't be hidden any more and they will slowly be filled with moments we can savor. Today Americans are celebrating their freedom.
What a great feeling it is to be free! It's especially great to be free emotionally...but how many of us truly get to experience this freedom? How many of us have built emotional walls when we've been hurt? Or when we've been abandoned? Or when we've been traumatized? Walls are good for keeping harmful feelings out, but they're also good for keeping us trapped inside. It's miserable to be trapped inside, realizing you're missing out! Missing out on sharing who you really are... Missing out on experiencing life at its fullest... The only way to stop missing out is to begin braking down the walls. Is there a wall you need to break down? Something you've put up to protect yourself emotionally? A wall of shyness? Alcoholism? Anger? Take a chance and begin the process of breaking free. What a great day that will be...the day you are able to share with the world who you really are. Dear mom and dad,
I'm emotional these days. I try not to be, but I can't help it. It just seems like nothing is working right in my life. When the frustrations are too intense, I have melt downs. I don't mean to disrespect you or dishonor you. I'm not even thinking about that. I'm just hurting and don't know what to do. What I need most from you is love and support to help me regroup. Please be gentle. An angry tone of voice only makes me feel more stressed. A calm response is the quickest way to help me calm down. When I'm calm, I can listen to your advice. That's what I want more than anything. I want to feel you love and support me, even when I've made bad decisions and my life is crazy. And I want you to know that I love you, even when I have a hard time showing it. Dads are important. They guide us in ways that only dads can.
Who else would challenge us to try things that are beyond our comfort zone? Let go of our bikes after taking off the training wheels ? Throw us in the pond to teach us to swim? Give us chores to teach us responsibility? Dads push us harder than we think we can handle. They play with us until we burst with laughter. They support and protect us when we need it. Research says that having an involved, loving dad makes us more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem and show more empathy. Our hearts say that we feel good having a dad that loves and believes in us. For all of the dads out there who have taken time to guide and love us, paced the hallway with worry, acted crazy to entertain, waited up to make sure we're safe, and tried to give us the best advice they could, we say thank you. You are truly loved and appreciated. |
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