Rejection hurts, especially when it comes from a parent.
It's a deep hurt, isn't it? A hurt that sinks into your very being and makes you wonder what is so bad about you, it would keep your own parents from loving you. You've tried, but nothing seems to earn you their love.
You'd like to think it's because they don't know how to show love, but they do. You watch them shower it on your sibling, which is really hard to endure.
They shower them with praise.
They shower them with attention.
They shower them with gifts.
It's really unfair. Everyone needs their families to show them love, and when your family fails to do this, it hurts.
Unfortunately, it's very common for families to hurt each other in this manner. When this happens, you need to remember:
Just because you're not valued, doesn't mean you're not valuable.
Think about the people who have become millionaires after finding something someone else threw away. It shows us that humans have a knack for failing to see the value of things.
And you, my friend, are valuable.
I know I tell you this over and over, but I want you to understand. Everyone has value, and this value isn't tied to someone else's perspective, not even your parents'.
Here's what you can do: Ignore the words and actions by your parents that are based in any anger, brokenness or addictions. You can't trust those. Listen for any words that are spoken from wisdom and compassion. You may find wonderful nuggets of advice and love hidden among the hurtful ones.
Then try telling your parents how you feel one more time. Stay away from phrases like, "You always" and "You never." That will only put them on the defensive and keep them from listening to the real issue. Instead, tell them:
I'm feeling hurt right now and I need you to show me you love me. That would help me so much right now.
Hopefully, they'll hear the pain behind those words and show you how much they care. If they don't, remember this:
Just because you're not valued, doesn't mean you're not valuable.
It's a deep hurt, isn't it? A hurt that sinks into your very being and makes you wonder what is so bad about you, it would keep your own parents from loving you. You've tried, but nothing seems to earn you their love.
You'd like to think it's because they don't know how to show love, but they do. You watch them shower it on your sibling, which is really hard to endure.
They shower them with praise.
They shower them with attention.
They shower them with gifts.
It's really unfair. Everyone needs their families to show them love, and when your family fails to do this, it hurts.
Unfortunately, it's very common for families to hurt each other in this manner. When this happens, you need to remember:
Just because you're not valued, doesn't mean you're not valuable.
Think about the people who have become millionaires after finding something someone else threw away. It shows us that humans have a knack for failing to see the value of things.
And you, my friend, are valuable.
I know I tell you this over and over, but I want you to understand. Everyone has value, and this value isn't tied to someone else's perspective, not even your parents'.
Here's what you can do: Ignore the words and actions by your parents that are based in any anger, brokenness or addictions. You can't trust those. Listen for any words that are spoken from wisdom and compassion. You may find wonderful nuggets of advice and love hidden among the hurtful ones.
Then try telling your parents how you feel one more time. Stay away from phrases like, "You always" and "You never." That will only put them on the defensive and keep them from listening to the real issue. Instead, tell them:
I'm feeling hurt right now and I need you to show me you love me. That would help me so much right now.
Hopefully, they'll hear the pain behind those words and show you how much they care. If they don't, remember this:
Just because you're not valued, doesn't mean you're not valuable.
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