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Blog

Just Taking Up Space

2/8/2020

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Someone I love recently told me she was just taking up space. In a quiet, shaky voice she tried to convince me she had no real purpose in life because she wasn't contributing to her family or society in "any positive way."  Then I heard her whisper under her breath that we'd be better off without her.

She couldn't have been more wrong.  This person is a very important part of our family.  She's the first person we call when we're struggling, because we can count on her to listen and help.  She is selflessly generous with her resources and time, and she gives sound advice.  

This lady is incredibly valuable and "useful," but she can't see it right now. Depression has wrapped its hands around her heart and eyes, and she is blind to the truth.  This is how depression deceives.  It takes negative feelings and weaves them into our thoughts, trying to convince us that these thoughts are reflecting facts instead of emotions.  Just plain, negative emotion.

Emotions can be overwhelming.  They can crash over us like waves, sometimes catching us off-guard with their power. The dark ones are the worst, making us feel as if we're drowning because we're suffering negative thoughts repeatedly.  

My loved one is drowning in emotion right now.  She is lost in a deep depression, and I am desperately trying to pull her out of this deep, dark place so she can breathe the air of hope again. How am I doing this?  By loving her.  By surrounding her with continuous words of affirmation, even when she dismisses them.  By confirming her worthiness. By telling her she is loved. By pointing out the truth. By listening. By calling her daily and sending her notes and texts to remind her how valuable she is to me. By asking how she's doing, if she's taken her medicine, if she's talked with her doctor.  I help by being there.  

There are so many stories where one sole person made a difference.  I want to be that person for my loved one.  She's my mom.  Her life is incredibly valuable to me.  What things do you do to help the valued people in your life when they're struggling?


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