That's what I asked as I let hot water pour over me, hoping it would wash away all of the ugly memories. Life was hard this week, filled with insults and disappointments.
I fought to keep the hurt hidden, but it kept pushing its way back into my thoughts.
"No one likes you," it whispered.
My heart wanted to agree, but a picture of someone hugging me this week flashed through my mind. "We love you," she had said.
"People think you're not good enough," it reminded me.
"I'm not," I thought, until I remembered a coworker saying how talented I was.
"No one wants to spend time with you," it continued.
The tears began to flow, even as I recalled my friend begging me with the words, "You're coming, right? Please come!"
Emotions washed over me as quickly as the water, flowing and changing with each thought. For every negative memory there was a positive one, streaming gently through my mind, soothing the hurt.
It had been a hard week. But tucked within the hard stuff had been nuggets of goodness, which would have made my heart sing, if I had focused in on them.
I let the water rush over my face, thankful for its cleansing touch, and praying for a cleansing of my mind, as well.
"Give me the ability to focus on the good in my life and the ability to put everything else into its proper perspective," I prayed, "and let my teen friends be able to do the same."
Please let them be able to do the same.