This powerful video was shared to my Facebook page. Its images triggered some painful emotions, but the message is clear. People who have been through the battle of depression and survived know that hope is waiting on the other side. Whether you find it in faith or somewhere else, hope is waiting for you. Please don't kill yourself!
Many people, after the deaths of Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade, are asking each other how such successful people could commit suicide. What could they possibly have been depressed about? Even Anthony Bourdain's mother is questioning his decision. “He had everything. Success beyond his wildest dreams. Money beyond his wildest dreams..."
You might think that success, wealth, and adoring fans could protect you from pain, but they can't. Pain is sneaky, and it will always find a way into someone's life, even if that someone is highly talented and successful.
That's where the problem lies. Pain hides in the shadows, so when we catch glimpses of other people's lives, we often can't see it. We see only what's thrust into the light, and we believe our lives should be just as happy. Then when they aren't, we get worried and discouraged.
Anthony and Kate must have been feeling very discouraged to do what they did. It's too bad they never realized the number of people who would have reached out to help them. Maybe then they wouldn't have chosen the wrong solution for their pain.
Suicide wasn't the solution for their pain. It never is.
Depression likes to lie and tell you that there is no way you can overcome the pain you are feeling in the moment. But it is wrong. Do you know how you can overcome the pain? Look at this picture.
I don't know if you've watched the movie "13 Reasons Why," but here is a scene that shows why suicide is not the answer...13 reasons why...13 people coming together and helping each other get through the moment.
There will always be people who will come alongside and help you through the pain. Always.
All you have to do is let someone know you are struggling. Then you need to believe what they tell you.
You are loved and needed.
You are not a burden.
You will get through this pain.
Pain is not a death sentence. It's a warning that it's time to reach out.
Suicide Prevention Lifeline (24 Hours) tel:1-800-273-8255
This lovely girl is my daughter. Hidden beneath her smile is a real joy for life, but it wasn't always this way. It's hard to be excited about life when you're being bullied, and this girl was bullied throughout middle school and high school. In those days, her smile hid a pain that was too deep for words, and it made her attempt suicide on more than one occasion.
Luckily, she survived... Every. Single. Try.
Man, how thankful I am she lived—not just because she's my daughter and I love her—but because she's the bravest girl I know, and I admire her so much! What spirit she has! What strength! What beauty she showed as she rose above the crisis!
Those days were difficult, I won't lie. But in the middle of the battle, my girl found her brave—and she's enjoying a happy life because of it. She's getting her degree. She's working a job she loves. She's hugging her daughter.
She's happy. Really happy.
Find your brave.
Speak to someone. March past the people who are bullying you and refuse to listen. Find a way to get through the day...each and every day. You won't regret it. It'll be worth the struggle.
Find your brave, and give yourself a chance to see your future.
Do you ever feel like pain is your enemy? You wake up in the morning and try your best, but somehow pain always finds a way to slice through your happiness. And you wonder...will you ever be able to escape it?
If you feel this way, I'm sorry for the hurt you are experiencing. I understand where you're coming from; I really do. I've experienced both physical and mental pain that have left me begging for mercy.
I'd love to take all of that pain away from you, but I know, deep down, it would be one of the worst things I could do.
You may be surprised by that statement, but it's true. You see, pain is not our enemy. It is simply a warning to us that something is amiss— something's not right.
Without pain, we wouldn't know anything was wrong; and that, my friend, could be detrimental. After all, some of the most dangerous types of diseases are those where we feel no pain until it's too late for healing.
I'm not saying pain is good, but what I am saying is that pain often triggers us to search for the help we need. It causes us to find new solutions... make supportive connections...repair important relationships. It causes us to fight with the determination of a warrior, knowing healing is right around the corner.
Pain doesn't have to be a stumbling block. It can be a stepping stone—a way out of your faltering strength and into a transformative wholeness. Don't stop fighting. Reach out. Connect. Search for healing. It won't be long until you find it.
At age 30, JK Rowling wanted to commit suicide because she didn't see a way out of her desperate situation. Struggling with depression, she felt hopeless and alone.
A few years later, she penned these words in a "little book" that millions went on to read:
"Happiness can be found even in the darkest times,
if one only remembers to turn on the light."
How thankful we are that JK Rowling found a way to turn on the light. If you're struggling today, feeling helpless and alone, don't give up. There is a light in your future, ready to be lit. Let us help you light it.
No one can fully understand what grieving is until they’ve been through it themselves. I’ve grieved before, not because of a death of an immediate family member, but over the loss of my child that I adopted out.
I grieved for months, and even though I finally came to an acceptance, every once in a while I replay that very last day in the hospital with him when he was considered mine. He's turning six this summer.
I've read that when there is a close attachment to the person who died, the feelings of loss and yearning may never entirely fade (Worden, 2009). In other words, we don't really recover from our loss, but we learn to live with it.
I guess what I've learned is that grief doesn't have to be dealt with alone. Support from family members and friends can be nourishing and soothing to our hearts. Inspiring Doctor Nancy Berns once said, "Immersing ourselves in grief long enough to discover that we can float gives us more freedom to feel the joy and love that remain. And in both grief and water, it is best not to do it alone."
Once upon a time, a long time ago, my family's life was perfect. Well, maybe not perfect, but close enough. We were happy, and then something happened that changed our course forever: my husband got cancer. WHAM! A marker, or signpost, was placed into our lives. Suddenly we had our life before dad had cancer, and we had our life after dad had cancer. They were very different lives.
Tomorrow I'm attending a funeral and giving hugs to another family who's had a marker slammed into their lives, one they will refer to often. Unfortunately, life has a way of doing that to the best of families, maybe even yours.
Those unexpected turns in the road can be painful and difficult, so difficult they can prompt us to search for comfort in things we shouldn't...
We all want to find comfort during life's difficult moments, and it's easy to find temporary comfort in things that can add additional difficulties. My family has experienced some of these temporary comforts firsthand, and they were never satisfying. They kept us needing to overcome more and more issues.
Then we found something that brought us true comfort.
In this world of political correctness, it's not popular to talk about faith, but that's exactly what we found that helped us. Faith. Nothing seemed to comfort us as good as God. I guess that's why he's called "the Father of mercies and God of all comfort."
If you're needing a "God of all comfort" because you've been disappointed in the things you have tried, he'll be there for you. His kindness and grace may be just the thing you need to continue on. It was for us.
At 16 I attempted to take my own life. I would make another attempt at 19. And I am SO THANKFUL that I FAILED in those attempts. Why? Please... PLEASE read why.
I was removed from my family's house when I was about halfway through high school. My grandparents took me under their roof and provided for me something I never thought was possible in a place of acceptance. But both of those things would never have happened if I didn't reach out and ask for help from my friends and family that weren't living with me. They helped me learn what resources were available for me, who I could talk to about these things, and what could be done, and although it was only little steps... THEY WERE STEPS and steps in the RIGHT DIRECTION! I began to understand that I had value, that I was important, and that I did matter to people around me. My confidence slowly rebuilt and I started to rediscover who I was and what things made me truly happy in life.
Like I mentioned before though, I did attempt to take my own life again at 19. And at this point in my life (at 25) looking back, I hope I can provide some perspective for you - knowing where I was then. Once I began to understand what made me happy I began to make longer, lasting friendships and relationships with people around me, but I relied too much on those people. In high school and especially through college and working in the 'adult' world, these friendships don't last as long as you see in movies and TV shows. So when they ended, it really hurt... it dug deep. After having surgery that took me from my dreams of playing any sport in college, breaking up with a long-term girlfriend, and learning my last term of high school dropped my GPA below scholarship levels I thought I was losing all my value as a person again.
At this point something wonderful happened and I would hope and pray that it can and will happen in each of your lives if you are reading this now:
As the sea, life has a way of turning tumultuous when we're least expecting it. And like ships, we can be left adrift, feeling alone in a sea of people and wondering if anyone understands.
Under such circumstances, it would be tempting to capsize and stay hidden until the storm has passed. But if we're lucky, very, very lucky, someone will draw alongside and help us keep trying.
Tremendous strength can be found in the try...
...in the stepping out of bed, when you'd rather stay hidden.
...in the putting one foot in front of the other, when you can hardly think.
...in the doing the right thing, when you know it will be hard.
...in the holding onto hope, when you've been hurt to the core.
Something beautiful and powerful is happening in this try. It is pushing you forward. It is getting you closer to the shore. It is changing things little by little.
Little steps are good. Little steps are life-changing.
So keep trying, my friend, keep trying.
suicide is not the answer.
The future has better things in store for you.
Anyone who tells you, "You're worthless" is lying.
Your life matters.
Ask for help when you feel overwhelmed by the pain.
Listen to people when they tell you they love you.
If you think they'd be happier without you, you're wrong
Victory over depression is possible. Keep trying.
Eventually you'll get there.
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