The other day, my daughter pulled me aside and whispered out of embarrassment that her armpits smelled like onions. She pressed her small hands on each cheek and pulled them down as if she was trying to release her embarrassment through her exposed eyeballs. Then she released her inner reality: Mom, why do I smell like you? Am I a woman now? What is wrong with me? Is this it for me? Will I always smell like this? Do other people smell like this? Will people make fun of me? Will people still like me?

Immediately, I laughed out loud. Then realized my response was inappropriate. My child was no longer the little nugget running around without a care in the world, unaware of who saw her and what they thought. This realization was a sad moment for me.

I know what you’re thinking, body odor? Really? This may seem like a sliver of a problem, right? Who cares? That’s not the case for my preteen and probably for yours too. Our preteens are growing into young adolescents and these worries may seem small to us, but they are larger than life to them. Unfortunately, appearance and approval matter a great deal in today’s society. I hate that my beautiful, smart, funny, talented, daughter is worried about what people think of her. I wish I could protect her from all the icky parts of the world that I still hope she will never see but I can’t.

I imagine that most of you moms feel this way. So a few words of advice to the moms who are reading. Be present for your child and teen. Let them share their silly slivers of a problem. Let them spill their worries and concerns. Take their concerns seriously. This stage of life is hard. Change is hard. Growing up is hard.

A few other words of advice to the teens who are reading.  Find your person. Find that person you can trust to talk to about anything. Whether your “person” is your mom, guardian, caretaker, brother, sister, whomever. Know that your “person” loves you. Your person looks at you with rose colored glasses and sees all the best parts of you. Don’t ever stop talking to your person about your worries. It doesn’t matter how big or small they may seem. Because these worries will start to feel a little bit smaller if they aren’t hidden and tucked away. 

Experts tell us that If we get to know one another we will find we have more in common than we think. So the story I’m telling myself right now is that you struggle with self-esteem as much as I do, and that by putting me down you somehow find the validation you’re lacking. I guess subconsciously you believe that if you can get others to focus on me, they won’t notice the weaknesses in you.However, we both know this isn’t true because people are experts at finding weaknesses in one another,

Since we all have weaknesses and struggle with self-doubt (a very human condition,) I’m deciding to forgive you. Yes, I forgive you for the comments over my appearance; the eye rolls over my opinions; the snickers at my errors, and the half-truths you’ve spread. Obviously, you must be hurting terribly in order to do such hateful things to another.

And don’t worry. You won’t see me repeating these things for revenge. I know what it feels like to receive such treatment, and I don’t think it’s right to treat others this way.

I am not going to lecture you either. Heaven knows I have just as many issues as you do that need to be dealt with. Instead, I am choosing to distance myself from you, but not before I give you a piece of advice: Rise up and know your worth.

You’re worth is not determined by the opinion of others – nor by the position you have on the scale of beauty, talent, popularity and wealth. My worth isn’t determined by these scales either. You see, our worth comes from being human and having a unique take on the world. No one has our same story or insight- same set of talents and perspectives. We are uniquely us. I think we will all be happier when we start to realize the value of ourselves and others.

by Emily Krueger

It sounds too good to be true, doesn't it?  Thinking our way to health?  Yet, that's just what recent studies show. Our thoughts are so powerful they can effect our minds, our biology, and even our environments.

New research shows our thoughts have a direct affect on our biology.  According to a leading cellular biologist, Bruce Lipton, "Our minds will adjust our body's biology and behavior to fit with our beliefs." In other words, the more self-critical we are, the more our subconscious minds will work to convince us of our limitations and unworthiness. 
On the flip side, the more we think positively about ourselves, the more our subconscious will work to bring about a positive change to our biology and behavior. 

We may not have much control over our subconscious mind, but we do have control over the thoughts we feed it. Unfortunately, positive thinking doesn't just happen.  It's something we have to do on purpose.  It may feel funny and a little awkward at first talking kindly to ourselves, but it will make a huge difference in our lives. Still Skeptical? 
Just look at this research done by Dr. Emoto on the power of words:
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We are so thankful for the agencies who join hands with us in our journey to help you. 

​Topcounselingschools.org shared the following graphic, which you may find insightful. As you go about your week, please take care of yourself.

​I'm fine.

Have you ever said that?  Someone makes a comment to you because they're concerned about your eating habits, and you push them away by saying, "I'm fine."  You know they're probably correct, but you don't want to hear it.  You want to keep doing whatever you're doing, because it's giving you something you feel you need.

Like a smaller number on the scale.
A smaller jean size.
Comments from your friends about how "tiny" you look.

It's easy to convince yourself you're fine, because of the pretty package on the outside.  But inside, you know something's not right.

You're tired.
You have dizzy spells and headaches.
Your stomach hurts.

Your body wasn't made to run on empty.  It needs fuel to run smoothly, and when it doesn't get enough fuel, severe problems arise. 

Plus, it's stressful having to worry about calorie counting and calorie burning!  You wish you didn't have to worry about such things, so you could devote yourself to relaxing and having fun in the moment like others do.