Experts tell us that If we get to know one another we will find we have more in common than we think. So the story I’m telling myself right now is that you struggle with self-esteem as much as I do, and that by putting me down you somehow find the validation you’re lacking. I guess subconsciously you believe that if you can get others to focus on me, they won’t notice the weaknesses in you.However, we both know this isn’t true because people are experts at finding weaknesses in one another,

Since we all have weaknesses and struggle with self-doubt (a very human condition,) I’m deciding to forgive you. Yes, I forgive you for the comments over my appearance; the eye rolls over my opinions; the snickers at my errors, and the half-truths you’ve spread. Obviously, you must be hurting terribly in order to do such hateful things to another.

And don’t worry. You won’t see me repeating these things for revenge. I know what it feels like to receive such treatment, and I don’t think it’s right to treat others this way.

I am not going to lecture you either. Heaven knows I have just as many issues as you do that need to be dealt with. Instead, I am choosing to distance myself from you, but not before I give you a piece of advice: Rise up and know your worth.

You’re worth is not determined by the opinion of others – nor by the position you have on the scale of beauty, talent, popularity and wealth. My worth isn’t determined by these scales either. You see, our worth comes from being human and having a unique take on the world. No one has our same story or insight- same set of talents and perspectives. We are uniquely us. I think we will all be happier when we start to realize the value of ourselves and others.

Do you agree about how hard it is for teenagers to share their issues with adults?  What do you think would need to change in order for it to be easier?  

I heard a story yesterday that made me proud of you.  After hearing a health discussion on the topic of suicide, a boy confessed to his friend that he had tried committing suicide twice in the past.  The friend, after arriving home later that day, proceeded to tell his mother.  "I know from our health discussion I need to tell a trusted adult," he explained, "so that's what I'm doing."  

His mom nodded, and then this young man did something great.  He checked to make sure his mother was going to do something.  "You're going to do something, right?" he inquired,  "I need to make sure; because if you aren't, I'm going to find someone else." His mom assured him she would talk to the school counselor the next day.  When she warned him of a possible fallout with his friend, he said, "That's okay, because the option of not doing anything would have a worse ending."

At school the next day, this friend was confronted by the depressed teen who asked if he was the one who had told.  The friend shook his head yes.  Then the hurting teen said it was okay.  "It's for the best," he said, "I think it's going to help me."  

It may feel awkward, but finding support for your friend is one of the most heroic, kind things you can do.  And accepting that help is one of the bravest.  Bravo to these two boys and all the rest of you who are reaching out and supporting one another.  You make us proud. 

​Did you know that bullying usually stops within 10 seconds after a bystander gets involved?

That's why it's important for all of us to get involved. It takes courage to speak up against bullying. but it's the right thing to do.

When one person speaks out against the bullying, it gives everyone the courage to add their support and take a stand. 

My school is selling flowers for Valentine's Day.

Excuse me while I go breathe into a bag.

Seriously, this issue brings bad memories for me.  I remember sitting in class, wondering if I'd receive a flower, and agonizing over the thought that I wouldn't.

What if I'm the only one who doesn't receive one?
How embarrassing.
Everyone will know I'm not loved.

It was a stressful situation, and not just for me.  I remember girls purchasing flowers for themselves, hoping to show others that they were lovable. I sigh when I remember those young girls, and think to myself, "If only."

If only I could go back in time and send a message to my younger self, as well as the other teens who were agonizing beside me. I'd write a note on beautiful stationary, delivering it on the same day the flowers were being delivered.  It would say something like this:

Dear friend,

You don't need a flower to prove you are lovable.  You are.  You already are. You have a beautiful future ahead of you, one filled with people who will absolutely adore you. There'll be love and laughter...hugs and flowers...and a heart that is full and happy.  Don't listen to those negative thoughts swirling in your mind right now.  Great things are right around the corner for you.  So, enjoy your day, enjoy your friends, and keep chasing those dreams.  Your story is just beginning, my friend.  Just beginning.

Happy Valentine's Day.

You know what I love best about a new school year?  The word new.

There is so much hope tucked inside of that word.

    New supplies.
    New ideas.
    New start.

One small seed of "new" can harvest a whole lot of change, which is why I'm running into this new school year with confidence. As Ralph Marston said,
                                      
What you do today can improve all of your tomorrows.

Since I want this year to be a great one,  I'm already putting some positive things in place to get myself ready.


Organizing a Study Space

I don't want to fall behind this year in my written work, so I'm organizing my study space.  I've made sure it's away from distractions and I've stocked it with supplies. I've even picked up a couple of display boards so I can have them ready for projects. I think being organized this year will help prevent some of my stress when things get really busy.


Finding What Resources Are Available

I've also been doing research on my computer to see the resources my school has available. You can do this, too. Check to see if your teachers have websites where they post assignments and see if your school has a homework hotline.  I've bookmarked my favorite resources, so I can remember them if I start to get overwhelmed.


Thinking Positively

Instead of walking into my school and remembering the stressful things that have happened, I want to walk in and see new possibilities.  That's why I've already started preparing my thinking.  Every time I feel myself start to stress, I think, "Things are going to be better than I expect."  When my self-esteem starts to dredge up old fears, I remind myself, "God made me and loves me just the way I am.  My value isn't based on the thoughts of others."


Taking Time to Laugh

One of the things I love about summer vacation is how often I laugh.  It feels good to laugh, forgetting about everything else.  I savor these times and hate to see them end.  That's why I'm making sure I plan time in my schedule to have fun.  I'm saving time on Monday nights to meet with friends.  I'm planning some fun activities in the Fall.  I'm making sure I continue to enjoy things, even after school begins.

Sound the bell and start the race; I think I'm ready.  No, I know I'm ready.  I'm ready for a new year.

New possibilities.
New changes.
New hope.