​I don’t own a scale, and I’m not going to buy one in 2019.  I’m not going to purchase a gym membership, begin a skin regimen that’s supposed to make me look like a Hollywood Starlet, or strive to make more money.

I guess you could say I’m a resolution rebel, and you’d be right. After all, I’m not choosing one of the common resolutions for my new year.  Instead, I’m choosing to work on being the best me I can be ─ and by “best me” I mean the person I am on the inside.

I’ll begin by determining what I value.  I’ll look at a list of values and pick three or four that really resonate with me, and then I’ll write them down as follows:  


Integrity, Love, Faith, Generosity


Next, I’ll use this list to guide me in every situation.  I’ll ask myself, “Am I acting with integrity? Am I demonstrating love?  Do my actions fit with my faith? Is there a way I can be more generous? 

Yes, 2019 will not be a year of “cutting out” for me. Instead, it will be a year of adding more of what I value.  Maybe you’ll also want a year of "adding more." In that case, rebel, I’ll attached a list of values to help you in your quest.

May we both become the best version of ourselves this year, and may we find a year of happiness waiting for us. Blessings, my friend.

Ever felt like you've lost control over your feelings and your situation, and you just want to run away?

That's what my daughter did when she felt the most anxious she'd ever felt in her life.  She didn't know how to handle what she was feeling, so she ran.  She ran and ran for six miles, until she finally realized she couldn't outrun her anxious thoughts. Then she had a long, disappointing walk home.

The amazing thing was my daughter had never ran a mile in her life.  Anxiety does that to a person, though. It makes us so fearful, we can't think clearly. It can change us into wild-eyed, irrational people running for our lives.

So how do we deal with all of this worry?  How do we deal with the pounding heart rate, sweaty glands, and fearful thoughts?

According to my friend, we do something that's as old as the Bible itself:  we take our anxious thoughts captive. She calls it a "Recipe for Peace."  This recipe comes from Philippians 4 and it tells us that if we present our worries to God with thanksgiving, His peace will guard our hearts and minds. 

Here's how it works. Whenever you have a worry, you take that anxious thought and change it into a prayer of thanksgiving.  For example:



I'm afraid my boyfriend will break up with me.                         Thank you for bringing a nice guy into my life.                 
                                                                

I'll never get all of this work done.                                              I'm thankful I finished a sentence.  Help me express the                                                                                                                 rest of my thoughts clearly.  (This was my worry today.)
                                                                                                         
I'll never pass my class.                                                                I'm thankful I am able to go to school. I've passed other
                                                                                                          classes, so I know I have it in me. Help me understand.

I won't be able to graduate.                                                        I'm thankful my school has counselors and tutors who can
                                                                                                         help me meet my goal of graduating.                                         
My dad will never love me.                                                          I'm thankful I have a dad.  Many people don't. God, help us                                                                                                           find a way to repair our relationship.

I'll never be pretty.                                                                        I'm thankful to have friends and family who see my
                                                                                                         beauty and love me for who I am. God, help me to see in
                                                                                                         myself what they see.

The God who made you wants you to be healthy and filled with peace.  And so do I, my friend, so do I. Don't worry if you've never read the Bible or talked with God.  This recipe will work for you.  Wishing you peace for today and always.

Sometimes the battles in our lives are ones that rage within us.  Deep within our brain's gray folds, a war of words can take place:

You're not doing well.  
What a loser!
Everything is falling apart.
Are you going to eat that?

Unhealthy voices can strike with a vengeance, leaving us cowering and unable to hear the healthy voices within.

Battling these vicious thoughts can be a daily struggle for some of us, but that doesn't mean we are powerless to combat them.   The key to surviving these attacks is finding a way to amplify the healthy voices within us.

One way to key into our healthy voice is to share our experiences with a therapist or support group. With proper counsel, we can learn skills for dealing with the negative, as well as skills for developing positive reactions.

Surrounding ourselves with positive people is another way to combat these unhealthy thoughts.  Many times the negative thoughts we are having are reflective of our feelings and not reflective of the true situation.

​The truth is, with a little hard work and a lot of endurance, we can come through the struggle as victors. It all comes down to finding a way to support ourselves.  If we have a hard time keying into our positive self-talk, we need to find a strategy to help us do it.

I love it when people get real about their struggles.  Last week, Kristen Bell (an American actress) talked about her issue with depression.  

It gave me a complete and utter sense of isolation and loneliness. Its debilitation was all-consuming, and it shut down my mental circuit board. I felt worthless, like I had nothing to offer, like I was a failure. Now, after seeking help, I can see that  those thoughts, of course, couldn’t have been more wrong.

What's nice about Kristen being open about her depression is how it gets people talking.  By "talking" I don't mean the gossipy kind of talking, but the kind of talking that leads to better understanding. And if there is any group of people that needs better understanding, it's the group of people who feel they have nothing to offer.

If you or a friend are struggling with depression or feelings of hopelessness, let someone know.  Depression is a problem that has many solutions, and as Kristen Bell said in her article:

There’s nothing weak about struggling with mental illness. You’re just having a harder time living in your brain than other people. And I don’t want you to feel alone. You know what happens when I visit my doctor regarding my mental health? He listens. He doesn’t downplay my feelings or immediately hand me a pill or tell me what to do. He talks to me about my options. Because when it comes to your brain, there are a lot of different ways to help yourself.