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Blog

Be a Resolution Rebel

12/30/2018

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​I don’t own a scale, and I’m not going to buy one in 2019.  I’m not going to purchase a gym membership, begin a skin regimen that’s supposed to make me look like a Hollywood Starlet, or strive to make more money.

I guess you could say I’m a resolution rebel, and you’d be right. After all, I’m not choosing one of the common resolutions for my new year.  Instead, I’m choosing to work on being the best me I can be ─ and by “best me” I mean the person I am on the inside.

I’ll begin by determining what I value.  I’ll look at a list of values and pick three or four that really resonate with me, and then I’ll write them down as follows:  


Integrity, Love, Faith, Generosity


Next, I’ll use this list to guide me in every situation.  I’ll ask myself, “Am I acting with integrity? Am I demonstrating love?  Do my actions fit with my faith? Is there a way I can be more generous? 

Yes, 2019 will not be a year of “cutting out” for me. Instead, it will be a year of adding more of what I value.  Maybe you’ll also want a year of "adding more." In that case, rebel, I’ll attached a list of values to help you in your quest.

May we both become the best version of ourselves this year, and may we find a year of happiness waiting for us. Blessings, my friend.



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Overcoming Family Hurt

12/26/2018

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It’s the day after Christmas, and although many of you may not celebrate this holiday, I’m aware that there are other family celebrations happening around this time; and I know what that means.  It means many of you are nursing some deep wounds today, afflicted by members of your family. Members you thought would give you love, but gave hate instead.

Perhaps it was an aunt who brought up the mistakes of your past, mistakes she can never forgive you for committing.  Or maybe it was a grandparent who greeted other members of the family warmly and then barely acknowledged you. It might have been a group of cousins who chose to ignore and ostracize you from the family, letting you know they find you unworthy of their time or conversation.

Whatever the grievance, you are hurting and wondering why you are receiving such nasty treatment from people who are supposed to accept and encourage you.  I want you to know that I’m thinking of you today, and I don’t have easy answers. Quite frankly, it makes me sick to see people act this way. You may wonder if it will ever get better.  I can’t say. However, I do have a little piece of truth for you to hang onto in this moment, one you can repeat when the pangs of hurt come crashing over you:

    “It reflects badly on them.”

Regardless of their reasons for being upset, their choosing to treat you badly instead of trying to solve their issue and repair a family connection reflects badly on their character - not yours.  Remind yourself of this fact every time those nasty scenes replay in your mind. Then set some boundaries for yourself.

You do not have to allow people to bully you, even if they are family.  Respect them? Yes. Retaliate? No. Give yourself space from them? By all means, yes!  And if they decide to repair the relationship? Should we forgive them, even after the years of hurt they’ve caused?  Yes. Let’s offer them the grace they should have been showing us. They are family, after all. Until then, friends, keep being yourselves.  You are worthy of love just as you are, even when you’re different from your family.





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