I heard a story yesterday that made me proud of you.  After hearing a health discussion on the topic of suicide, a boy confessed to his friend that he had tried committing suicide twice in the past.  The friend, after arriving home later that day, proceeded to tell his mother.  "I know from our health discussion I need to tell a trusted adult," he explained, "so that's what I'm doing."  

His mom nodded, and then this young man did something great.  He checked to make sure his mother was going to do something.  "You're going to do something, right?" he inquired,  "I need to make sure; because if you aren't, I'm going to find someone else." His mom assured him she would talk to the school counselor the next day.  When she warned him of a possible fallout with his friend, he said, "That's okay, because the option of not doing anything would have a worse ending."

At school the next day, this friend was confronted by the depressed teen who asked if he was the one who had told.  The friend shook his head yes.  Then the hurting teen said it was okay.  "It's for the best," he said, "I think it's going to help me."  

It may feel awkward, but finding support for your friend is one of the most heroic, kind things you can do.  And accepting that help is one of the bravest.  Bravo to these two boys and all the rest of you who are reaching out and supporting one another.  You make us proud. 

by Emily Krueger

​I don’t own a scale, and I’m not going to buy one in 2019.  I’m not going to purchase a gym membership, begin a skin regimen that’s supposed to make me look like a Hollywood Starlet, or strive to make more money.

I guess you could say I’m a resolution rebel, and you’d be right. After all, I’m not choosing one of the common resolutions for my new year.  Instead, I’m choosing to work on being the best me I can be ─ and by “best me” I mean the person I am on the inside.

I’ll begin by determining what I value.  I’ll look at a list of values and pick three or four that really resonate with me, and then I’ll write them down as follows:  


Integrity, Love, Faith, Generosity


Next, I’ll use this list to guide me in every situation.  I’ll ask myself, “Am I acting with integrity? Am I demonstrating love?  Do my actions fit with my faith? Is there a way I can be more generous? 

Yes, 2019 will not be a year of “cutting out” for me. Instead, it will be a year of adding more of what I value.  Maybe you’ll also want a year of "adding more." In that case, rebel, I’ll attached a list of values to help you in your quest.

May we both become the best version of ourselves this year, and may we find a year of happiness waiting for us. Blessings, my friend.

I have a confession to make. In five months I’ll be thirty and my life is nowhere near what I had imagined it to be. Of course I imagined something like the all-American Dream: being successful, getting married, and owning a house. But here I am - not married and sadly living in a wallet-draining apartment. I'm not trying to be negative, I'm just stating facts.

In the last year of my twenties, I’ve wasted countless days listening to the harassment of negative thoughts and allowing them to continue to haunt me and ruin my every day.

"He won't marry me."
"I am not worthy."
"I am not successful."
"I will never graduate from college."
" I am not smart enough."
" I will never make enough money to own my own home."
" I AM JUST NOT good enough to successfully complete such dreams."

Yes, I have spent the last year of my twenties battling these thoughts EVERY SINGLE DAY. These thoughts have done nothing for me besides keep me from successfully fulfilling my dreams, so much so, that I haven’t been to school in the last 6 months and I’ve reconsidered why I am even going to school. I've lost touch with the hope of getting married and owning a home. I've settled for just the idea of living in an apartment for the rest of my life.

Worst of all, I've stopped seeing the beauty in life and enjoying how little things such as sunshine, rainbows, and flowers can be so big and exciting to someone like my daughter. Why am I not optimistic like my 9 year old child? When this little sweetie had a really bad cold and couldn’t smell or taste anything, she said to me with eyes full of tears, “Mom, I can’t even smell the flowers!”

Why can’t I be like that? It's not like my daughter doesn't have difficulties in her life.  She has some real challenges to overcome.  But she doesn't focus on those things. She focuses on the good in her life. Imagine, what it would be like if we lived our lives like she does, and our worst worry was not being able to smell the flowers or enjoy sunshine and rainbows? 

Soon enough I’ll be turning 30, and today I am saying NO and refusing to waste another day listening to my negative thoughts. My life story may be written a little differently than others, but I won't let it stop me from continuing to pursue my dreams. It may take a little longer, I may not be where I dreamed I'd be by now, but I am still continuing its course. I won't give up. I'm choosing to focus on the good.

What about you? I know you don't want to waste another day spinning in negativity. You, too, can change your thinking. I dare you to make a change. Say NO to those negative thoughts. Say YES to being optimistic. And tomorrow... how about we both wake up and smell some flowers.?

Someone once told me, "It's ok to grieve. Grieving is normal."

What do they know?

My heart is overwhelmed with emotions today. Facebook reminded me that exactly one year ago my grandpa passed away.

Thanks Facebook.

My grandpa died of Alzheimers disease. It's a really hideous disease.

I wont go on about every single detail of his passing but I will share with you something I experienced during and after.

I had just gotten off work when I was told he only had a few days left to live. It was a long time coming, however, it felt so sudden. My family and I immediately put our lives on hold and fastened our seat-belts for a long road trip to California.

When we arrived, I promptly searched for grandpa. My eyes met his. He looked frail, malnourished, and withered, although, I recognized him. I found him curled up in a hospital bed in his living room where his recliner usually sits. I gently touched his hand and whispered "I love you grandpa" in hopes that somehow wherever life takes us when we pass, he will always remember how much he is loved. I saw that he recognized me but he didn’t remember my name. That was hard. But he still knew that I was someone, someone special to him.

There was a good handful of us family members that spent every waking and sleeping hours supporting each other and caring for grandpa. During these days, we reminisced on old memories, laughed, cried, sang, prayed and most importantly, put aside anything that may have caused conflict in the past.

This was the first death in my family and I felt afraid for how his death would effect everyone. A death in the family is scary and hard to imagine how life can go on without this special person that meant so much to so many people.
After he passed, I drove 11.5 hours home by myself. I spent lots of time collecting thoughts on how I wish I had more time with grandpa and if I had the choice, I would live close to all of my family. One thing I am certain is the love we had for grandpa brought us together and shed light on what family really means.

As life goes on, I’ve gone back and forth with feelings of being ok and then feeling sadness and grief over grandpa. I don’t think anyone ever “gets over” grief over the  loss of a loved one, but I do know that everyone can keep putting one foot forward everyday. Maybe this is what people mean when they say, “It’s ok to grieve. Grieving is normal.”
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I can’t forget the suffering my grandpa went through before his passing, but I certainly don’t remember him by that. When I think of my grandpa I always remember his loud deep singing voice and his silly high pitched giggle. I am just happy to have this memory and that I feel like I can still hear it when I imagine it. Even that’s motivation to keep moving forward. I will forever miss you grandpa and I will forever smile in your memory. 

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Recently, I was sitting in a meeting, listening to someone share their story and—WHAM! I was triggered.  My breathing slowed, my hands got sweaty, and I began to panic.

Suddenly, memories (and the intense feelings that went with them) came flooding back. It happened in a matter of seconds, and I found myself wanting to flee those old traumatic experiences once more.

When triggers hit, it's hard because they make us feel out of control. They remind us of hurtful things— things we don't want to relive. We can find ourselves reacting in ways we don't want to react, such as lashing out at our friends or pulling away from loved ones. Reacting to triggers in this way doesn't mean we're crazy or that something is wrong with us.  It means we're human, and it's a normal response to trauma.

Fortunately, if we're aware of our triggers, we can learn how to respond appropriately.  I know when I go to my meeting tomorrow, I am going to face a situation that will trigger those memories again.  This time, however, I'm going in prepared.  I'm going to take a short walk ahead of time, so I can burn off some of my anxiety.  I'm going to take a warm, comforting drink with me and have something in my hand I can fiddle with.  These are some of the things that help me stay calm.

Knowing which things help soothe our nerves is helpful in situations such as these.   It's also helpful to know our triggers and how they make us respond.  Self-regulating can help us avoid the intense feelings and behaviors, and help us choose healthier and more constructive responses. 

Some days will be hard.  You'll be angry, scared, anxious and lonely.  You'll wonder if you'll ever be happy.  If you'll ever be loved.  If you'll ever be worthy.

Then good days will come, and you'll forget about those worries. Life will feel good. You'll have small successes, and you'll feel happy.  

And you know what?  That's okay.  It's how life rolls with it's mixture of pain and pleasure.  We are all a work in progress, trying our best to navigate the waves life sends us...trying our best to figure out who we are.  

Your roller coaster of emotions doesn't make you different or alone—they make you human. They make you just like the rest of us.

Keep being strong.  Keep being brave.  Keep pushing forward.  But most of all, keep believing.

"We cannot control mental illness or suicide.  We can only control how we support and treat the people who have it... This support can mean the difference between someone ending their life or finally gaining the courage to reach out and change it."   Amanda Southworth

Many people, after the deaths of Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade, are asking each other how such successful people could commit suicide. What could they possibly have been depressed about? Even Anthony Bourdain's mother is questioning his decision.  “He had everything. Success beyond his wildest dreams. Money beyond his wildest dreams..."  

You might think that success, wealth, and adoring fans could protect you from pain, but they can't. Pain is sneaky, and it will always find a way into someone's life, even if that someone is highly talented and successful. 

That's where the problem lies.  Pain hides in the shadows, so when we catch glimpses of other people's lives, we often can't see it.  We see only what's thrust into the light, and we believe our lives should be just as happy. Then when they aren't, we get worried and discouraged.

Anthony and Kate must have been feeling very discouraged to do what they did. It's too bad they never realized  the number of people who would have reached out to help them.  Maybe then they wouldn't have chosen the wrong solution for their pain. 

Suicide wasn't the solution for their pain.  It never is. 

Depression likes to lie and tell you that there is no way you can overcome the pain you are feeling in the moment.  But it is wrong.  Do you know how you can overcome the pain? Look at this picture.

I don't know if you've watched the movie "13 Reasons Why," but here is a scene that shows why suicide is not the answer...13 reasons why...13 people coming together and helping each other get through the moment.

There will always be people who will come alongside and help you through the pain. Always.

All you have to do is let someone know you are struggling.  Then you need to believe what they tell you.

You are loved and needed.
You are not a burden.
You will get through this pain.

Pain is  not a death sentence.  It's a warning that it's time to reach out.
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Suicide Prevention Lifeline (24 Hours) tel:1-800-273-8255