Category: Stigma - TEENS FINDING HOPE, INC.

I Am Only Human

1/23/2021

By Emily Krueger

I am only human.
I’ve made mistakes.
I’ve been selfish.
My lips have told lies.
My heart has felt anger.
I am only human.

I am a person.
If you touch my skin, It’ll feel warm and dry.
If you look at my face you’ll see scars that have aged over my lifetime.
If you look at my eyes you’ll see wrinkles from the many times I’ve laughed and cried.
If you look at me, I may be a nobody.
I still have a name,
I am a somebody to somebody.
I am a person.

I am alive.
My eyes blink and my mouth speaks.
My heart beats and my lungs breathe.
My feet take me places and my hands get work done.
My soul longs for connections and my feelings overrun.
Just like you, I am a person.
I am alive.

In case you forgot, I too, was born on this planet.
I have a birth certificate.
I have a birthdate.
I have a family.
We celebrate my birthday every year.
I deserve to be here.
I have a purpose.
It may not be the same as yours.
But that shouldn’t concern you.
Because my life is mine and I too belong here, Just like you.

I Am From Hope

12/6/2019

I am from journals.
From pages of dreams and scribbles of frustration.

I am from diagnoses on paper
(tangible proof of a hidden illness I desperately wish would heal.)

I am from pain and sleepless nights.
From pulling myself up by the boots and forging on.
(Despite the fatigue,
Despite the looks from those who couldn't possibly understand,
Despite the words from those who choose not to.)

I am from faith.
From choosing to be kind and choosing to be humble.

I am from a mind and a heart that believes
the best days of my life have not yet been realized.
(So I'm strengthened,
and very, very grateful for another day and another opportunity
to live my best life.)

I am from hope.

https://www.freepik.com/free-photo/courage-man-jump-through-gap-hill-business-concept-idea_1151013.htm

The Struggle is Real by Emily Krueger

7/26/2018

Every morning you wake up in a fog. Exhaustion overwhelms your body, even though sleep is supposed to relieve it; but that’s not the case for you.

You force yourself to get out of bed in the morning, hoping that stretching your limbs as long and high as you can and expelling your breath from the pits of your lungs will snap you out of it.
Your body moves like a sloth. You lack motivation, confidence, and energy. Daily, you
feel sad, asking yourself, “WHY? Why can’t I just be normal like everyone else?"

You get yourself to your destination for the day, whether it is work or school, and you
are consumed in a fog of exhaustion. You can't focus. People try to communicate
with you, but you can’t seem to gather yourself into a balanced individual.

Because you lack motivation, confidence, and energy, the people around you feel it too. You distance yourself from everyone to try and protect your image, which only makes it a lonely day.

Many of us know this struggle. I know this struggle. This struggle is depression, and it’s
exhausting. I have dealt with depression my entire life. For many years, I've struggled and
struggled with knowing how to cope with this illness.

One strategy I've found that helps me cope is to count my blessings...literally. I write down every single joy in my life and what I am thankful for.

Then I write out a list of everything I love and live for... the things that make me the happiest. This tends to be the most motivating thing for me to remember — why I am living.

I also make sure I take time out of each day to spend by myself in spiritual pursuits and self care. Whether that means taking a bubble bath, praying, walking or meditating—I do whatever positive activity I can do in order to get through it.

And guess what? I do get through it, and you can, too, my friend. You can, too.

As Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Believe you can and you’re half way there.” Never let the stigma and exhaustion keep you from believing you can.

The best way to support hurting families

6/24/2016

“Just see my child for who he really is.”

This is a longing of every parent, including those whose children have a mental illness. Sadly, many families of the mentally ill discover an inability of people to see past their child’s illness. In times of crisis, silence often replaces meals and flowers; misguided comments often cloak words of comfort.

Well-intended family members and friends don’t realize how much pain their awkwardness and verbal processing bring to hurting families. It should come as no surprise that the phrase, “We always knew something like this was going to happen,” is not comforting to anyone, regardless of how true it may be.

What parents and family members really desire is for you to see their child as you see other children. You want specifics?

Notice the good in their kid.

Do you look at children suffering with cancer and only talk about the negative symptoms you see the cancer producing? No, you look at these children and talk about how sad it is that cancer is hurting some great kids. It should be the same with children who suffer with mental illness. These children may deal with their hurt in awkward ways, but it doesn’t discredit their good traits.

I'd like you to read a message posted by my friend after her son's tragic death. Her pain-filled words will help you see the value of noticing the person behind the illness:

My heart is broken, I don’t know if it will ever be the same again. I am numb, I am shattered, I am not ready for this. I didn’t want to post anything, I wasn’t ready to share, but rumors are spreading. My son had many battles to fight and unfortunately he lost.

People that have never had to live with a mental illness cannot understand the choices that he made, they just judge. They can’t see the person behind the illness.

Brandon was an amazing person with a lot to give this world. He was the first one to defend the underdog. He was the most loyal friend anyone could ask for. He would do anything for anyone, no questions asked. He made a lot of wrong decisions, but he never quit trying to better himself. He could make a person laugh and find joy in any situation. Brandon has struggled for years, he is …was Bipolar. He hated taking the medications prescribed. He self-medicated which led to family strife, jail ,and homelessness but we never gave up hope that he could win the battle. Recently, he had moved back home and gone through rehab. We saw the old Brandon again; I let myself believe that I had my little boy with the cute smile back. Sam and Ciara had a chance to have a real relationship with their big brother.

Sadly, Brandon relapsed and we found him Wednesday morning. I want him to be remembered for the wonderful son, brother, cousin, nephew and friend that he was, not just an addict. He was so much more.

How People Treat Mental Illness and Physical Illness Differently

10/7/2015

It's important for people to understand that depression is an illness, not a weakness. Many people believe depression is just something someone can "get over" on their own. This belief causes them to be less empathetic towards those who are diagnosed with depression, as shown in this article by Kirsten King and Haejin Park from BuzzFeed. (Posted on September 30, 2015)

Remember, everyone experiences mental illness differently, and the way we talk about it can have a significant effect on someone’s well-being. Be kind and empathetic, regardless of a person’s diagnosis.

Depression has no Boundaries By Tabitha Barth

9/17/2015

Depression has no boundaries. There is not one “type” of person who can be affected by depression. Those who have depression do not all look alike. They may be female, male, children, teenagers, adults, elderly, black, white, Asian, straight, gay, lesbian, or transgender. Depression affects every corner of diversity.

Though those who are affected by depression are different, and come from different backgrounds, beliefs, and values, they are not alone in this battle. The struggles that go along with depression are hard and vary in degrees for every individual. But the overall battle to find hope and something positive in their lives is the same.

And more importantly you are not alone if you struggle with depression. It doesn’t matter what race, gender, or sexual orientation you are.

You are loved.

You are valued.

Your life has worth.

If you are struggling with depression remember that there are thousands of others out there who are struggling with the same thing. Here are some resources that may be of encouragement to you:

The Trevor Project- For LBTQ Youth- www.thetrevorproject.org

National Organization for People of Color Against Suicide- www.nopcas.com

To Write Love on Her Arms- www.twloha.com

National Alliance on Mental Illness- www.nami.org

A Mended Heart

5/9/2015

He left his ugly prints upon my heart,
A new smudge appearing with every sickening touch.

Each night, forcing his way uninvited,
whispering words of evil wrapped in love.

Trust left long ago on little girl feet, fleeing to a safer hiding place.

The destruction he leaves is ugly.
I sweep the shattered pieces into a dark corner and hope no one notices.

Everything changes the day someone appears
and whispers into my soul the hope of pieces getting mended.

She tells me her story and slowly exposes her heart so I can see.
My shaking fingers trace each lovely piece.

Cracks of betrayal filled with forgiveness.
Cracks of mistrust filled with strength.
Cracks of memories filled with healing.

"It's so lovely," I think.

I want this for me.

The process of mending stretches my time and my patience.
I long for a quick fix, and I fill the urge to reach for something shiny.

A pill.
A bottle.
A relationship.

Those shiny things won't repair my heart and restore its splendor.

So I push on, allowing someone to come and help me sand the rough edges,
filling each crack with healing.

I tell myself I can finally do it.
I can reveal my heart to others and let them marvel at the beauty of its wholeness.

"I am mended," I whisper, "Come and see."

Brokenness Can't Hinder Your Beauty

3/13/2015

Sometimes things happen to us that make us feel broken and dirty. They make us think we've lost our value and our lives are damaged forever.

That's a lie, my friends. As a reader tells us below, nothing can reach deeply enough to damage the value and beauty we have hidden within.

I am now 14 years old, and I have been through a lot..

When I was 5, I was touched by my cousin, and not in a very good way. It continued for 8 years, and I didn't do anything about it, because I didn't really know what it was.

When I was 9 years old, a similar thing happened. I didn't tell anyone about it because I was embarrassed to. I was mocked and criticized by all my friends and even the teachers because I was so thin, and that I'll "fly away" if the wind blows too hard. So I started to fit in, and be like everybody else because I was scared of not being accepted.

I started judging people, being mean to them, things I can't think of doing now. And then everybody started being mean to me for no reason, people started abandoning me and ignoring me even though I cared a lot for them and was always there for them.

Nobody knows the truth.
No one.
Not my parents, family, friends, or best friends.
I don't want them to know me in that way. I guess that's why I haven't told anyone, aside from the fact that I'm scared about how they'll react.(Is that right?)

But what I've learned is that the past doesn't matter. The future is spotless, and that anything is possible.

And no matter how mean people can be, it really doesn't say anything about you; it says everything about them. And I've also learned that everybody should be who they are, and wear what they like, and not care if they're fat or skinny, because true beauty lies within.

A word of love for the writer of this message:

You are wise beyond your years, my friend, and I am touched by your willingness to reach out and help others. My heart aches when I think of the shame and pain you've endured quietly. You are so right when you say that your circumstances say more about them than about you. I've heard your story, and I see nothing dirty or shameful about you. I see a strong young lady who has had the courage to endure things that should never happen to a little girl.

Reaching out and talking about it is the first step of real healing. My advice to you is to tell a trusted adult. You need to find someone who can help guide you through the healing process. It may be painful at first, but every time you go to heal wounds, it hurts. Don't worry. The ugliness of what was done to you is not a reflection of who you are. You are strong. You have the true beauty of compassion inside you. You can do this.

I'm sending you hugs, my friend. Stay strong.

Please Just Listen

2/7/2015

Sometimes I just need someone to listen. I don't need any answers. You know what I mean? Sometimes there are days where I wouldn't even know how to describe what I need, because I'm not quite sure. My range of emotions bounce around from one extreme to another, and I find myself weary.

Weary of carrying my story alone.

So I want to share it, if only to get it off my shoulders for a little while.
To have someone affirm how hard it must be.
And to hear a few hopeful words to let me know they see me. They hear me. They care.

I just need someone to be present and really listen.

That's why I love my Lifegroup. It's a group of people from my church who are there for me when I need it. They lovingly help me carry my load, and I lovingly lend a hand to carry theirs. It's nice doing life together.

It wasn't easy reaching out to them, because I was afraid of not fitting in. But I'm so glad I took the risk.

There's a group out there for you, too. Waiting and hoping you'll take the step. They want to help you with your story. They want to ease the load off of your shoulders. You'll be a perfect fit.

And you'll find someone to listen...when you need it.

Overcoming the Embarrassment of Meds

1/24/2015

One of the first things I did when cleaning the house for company was hide the medicine that had been sitting on the bathroom counter. I was horrified by the thought of someone seeing it. How silly is that? It's just medicine.

Only it didn't feel silly.

Many people taking medicine struggle with the embarrassment of having to take it.

"The first time my parents took me to see a physiologist, she asked me how I felt about taken medications. I was horrified by the idea, horrified by the idea that the medication might help me do something I couldn't do on my own - get better. I felt that if I took medication, I was weak. I didn't judge others that took medications, but for some reason, I felt that if I myself took them, it meant I was weak." Emma

Why do we worry about people seeing us as weak when it's not true? Medicine has nothing to do with building up our character.

When we run, eat healthy, or work out, people applaud our efforts in taking care of our health. It should be the same with taking medicine. Taking meds is just another way of taking care of our bodies and staying healthy.

It's time to fight the stigma.

I'm going right now to the bathroom and place the bottle back on the counter where I can see it. If someone asks about it, I'll shrug and tell them it's something I need to stay healthy.

I'm into being healthy these days.

Providing resources and encouragement to teens and families affected by depression.